(no subject)

[sholanda]

the cloud cover and the light pollution combine to make the night sky a sickly yellowish gray tonight. if i lay still i can hear: an airplane, a dog barking, the band practicing across the street, the splash of passing cars. a train in the distance sometimes.

remember climbing to the top of the watertower and watching the stars circle around?
sitting on the dock at the lake and throwing stones in? wondering out loud where our lives would take us, sneaking to the top of the tallest building in town to smoke cigarettes and dance to our boombox in the middle of the night?

i miss stealing away, i miss quiet nights of nothingness.

i miss nothing but trees on the left and the right, only seeing as far as my headlight beams illuminate. the road to mustang.

when i was young i longed to escape oklahoma, its vast nothingness, its wide open space pressing against me so i could hardly breathe. now i live on the west coast, people all around me, sights and smells and textures so rich and copious i am overloaded. life has been good to me. i have had nothing but a dream, a car, and 30 bucks. i have had an apartment with a view of the asahi building. but it's there, always elusive, that place just around the corner, the place i would rather be. right now it's home.

right now i want quiet, real quiet, and space.

Comments

[kingtycoon.livejournal.com]

Lifelong Urbanites like myself might wonder why not just go, just leave the city behind when your home's elsewhere. I get the charms of the city, but maybe like the charms of far away nowheres there only fleetingly sweet, moments of brilliance in the otherwise mundane day-to-day.

Is the grass always greener or can you just not go home again?

Maybe you can just find out more than you wanted to know in the first place.

I like this entry, it makes me regret decisions I've never had to make myself, it makes me worry for people I've never even thought of.

[nshgrl.livejournal.com]

nice writing. you need a vacation, baby. go home.