I don't think I could be in oklahoma right now...not only because of how they would be dealing with this, but because some of them will probably feel like they are even more strongly effected because of the bombing (which i can see as a normal reaction with what they have gone through). i just feel a need to stay away from self-pity right now, because there are so many people in despair i don't think i could deal with "yeah, the ny thing is sad, i remember when the bombing happened here...." it would just be like double wammy, ya know? some people have really had a strong reaction to my way of dealing with all of this but i just feel sorta numb. i don't know if it's because of the ok bombing or if i'm just choosing not to deal with it. i will say i have been ashamed of being an american with all the insanity that has occurred against middle-eastern people that live here in america. my heart hurts for them right now and this too has angered people i know. i feel no desire for revenge...i'm just tired of all this...